Hey guyssss
So with less than two hours left of 2015, I thought I'd write a short-ish, chatty, kinda pointless post about the year I've had, whether I completed my last years resolutions and what my new 'New Year Resolution's are for 2016 and why I've chosen them.
I am one of those people that l-o-v-e-s New Year. Who doesn't like the idea of a fresh start? The chance to put behind anything bad that's happened and start afresh- New Year gives hope and positivity. I can't stand people that want to shit all over New Year and say the same old 'I hope the next year is better than this one'. LITERALLY- shut up. Why can't people just stop focusing on the negative and stop moaning for 5 seconds.
But enough of that. Let's not waste time moaning about the moaners. So, what's happened this year? Nothing majorly horrible has happened in 2015 for me which is always nice. I got the two things that I really wanted and one of them turned out to be not what I wanted at all. This is all pretty vague because I don't want to tell the big wide web my whole life story.. But what I will say, is that I have always struggled with confidence and self esteem. My whole life I've basically had this negative voice in my head that tells me really horrible things, most of which aren't true. And I don't mean that I'm psycho or anything like that, I'm talking about a voice in my head telling me that I'm not worth much, that I don't deserve things or that I'm not capable.
To be honest, I'm not really sure where this voice developed from but I started to read Demi Lovato's book 'Staying Strong 365 days a year' which is a collection of her favourite quotes and a bit of writing underneath from Demi to go alongside it. It's a really lovely 'pick-me-up' book for people that struggle with positivity. There was a page that talked about 'being your own best friend' which admittedly, sounds extremely lame at first, but the idea is- when you're talking to your best friend, you wouldn't dream of telling them the things you tell yourself. Would you tell your best friend that they're not capable? That their not worth anything? The answer is no- So why would you tell yourself that? You have to be kind to yourself and honest. The doubts that cross your mind aren't facts.
This quote really spoke to me and really made me realise that I've always been un-necessarily harsh on myself. This year, I've really come a long way in regards to my thought process, motivation, self worth and positivity. My confidence and self esteem has increased massively over the past year but I still have a very long way to come. I just hope I can make as much progress in the new year.
So, what have I learned this year? I have learned that love isn't enough sometimes to make things work. I learned that boys and relationships are not as fun as they sound. I learned that you can only really be at peace with yourself when you don't care what people think and when you can truly be yourself. I learned that I'm capable of so much more than I thought. Oh, and I realised that I'm a very difficult person to put up with- especially in a relationship!
Last year, my New Year Resolutions were (1) Find A Job (2) Read More (3) Stay Positive. As I talked about before, I am very content with the way I achieved resolution (3). As for (2) I read so much at the beginning of the year, but then I realised that I am now an adult with adult responsibilities and adults don't have the time for luxuries like reading. Okay- that's a bit of an exaggeration. I could definitely find time for reading, but I decide to watch Made In Chelsea instead.. And finally (1), this was the most important resolution to me and I completed that too! Granted, I don't work in the most glamorous of places.. but I quite enjoy my job, it's interesting (sometimes) and (half) full of nice people.
My 2016 Resolutions;
(1) Go to the gym x2 a week
Yes, this is a very over used and boring resolution but it's just something that I want to get back into. I'm not very body concious but I find that I'm generally happier and feel more productive when I'm going to the gym regularly.
(2) Eat Healthier
Alright, alright- I've picked very unimaginative resolutions this year. But I'm not sorry. I eat SO badly. I polish a whole pack of Viennese whirls, shovel a family size pack of crisps down my throat on a regular basis and I eat chocolate for breakfast. I'm definitely not going to be one of those knobs that posts pictures of vegan salads with avocado and goji berries (weird salad) but I just want to invite a bit more fruit into my life, drink a bit more water, eat a bit less crap. That kind of thing.
(3) Write more (at least a week)
I've written a journal since the age of about 10 but ever since coming to uni, I've neglected it savagely. It's really annoying because uni has been the best year of my life and I'm not even going to have any written record of it! I've just been too busy/ lazy (mostly the latter). I want to start writing more so that I have exciting stuff to read when I'm 80 years old sitting in my rocking chair :)
Anyway- that's enough from me.
Happy New Year to you all- Have a good'un
Jade x
